Did you know that PayPal is making it easy for some of the world’s most violent anti-LGBT hate groups to raise money online to fund their hateful agendas?
One of the groups using PayPal, Abiding Truth Ministries, frequently sends their leader Scott Lively on trips to build a standing army of extremists dedicated to discriminating against LGBT people. After one of these trips, Lively bragged that he delivered a “nuclear bomb against the gay agenda in Uganda.” Just days later, his Ugandan hosts introduced the horrifying “Kill the Gays” bill.
PayPal already has a policy that prohibits use of its service “for activities that […] promote hate, violence, racial intolerance” - but groups like Abiding Truth Ministries - and 10 others we’ve found - are falling through the cracks.
If enough of us speak up, PayPal will shut down their accounts before these groups raise even one more dollar.
It only takes a moment to sign, guys!
This is a post that’s been in the makings for a while inspired by things that a few friends of mine have said here and there in the past that have stuck with me.
I finally decided to write it when I went into a counselor’s office two days ago and saw a sticker on the door with the rainbow letters proclaiming “ally.”
The more I have learned about queer issues the more that I have come to dislike the term “ally.” Or rather, I dislike the manner that it feels like it is often appropriated. There’s a sort of self-congratulation and a sense of disconnect that I dislike. It feels like it’s an another separatist term that makes it All About Me And Look How Accepting I Am, Where Is My Cookie. It feels like it’s taking the idea of what an “ally” actually means. Or rather, what it should mean and what its intent is (was) as a title.
Booster said it best, I think, and please forgive me that I’m paraphrasing because I can’t remember, nor can I find the post: “I don’t want an ally. I want a friend.”
To me, by saying that you’re a “friend,” it doesn’t just mean that you “have gay friends.” To me, a friend is someone who will fight for the people that they love, whether on a personal or a larger level. It doesn’t mean marching in the gay pride parade but flinching when she kisses her girlfriend in front of you. It doesn’t mean dancing with your buddies at gay bars but using harmful language in nearly the same breath. It doesn’t mean telling them how they should feel.
It means telling off the person using slurs in half-jest conversation, even when your friend isn’t there, even when it might be awkward. It means campaigning for laws that will make your friend’s life easier, healthier, and safe. It means no justification, no “Oh, but I’m not” backtracking, it means no expectation of praise. It means I will give no unwanted advice and never push myself on you, because I want to help and care for you, but while knowing full well I can never completely understand your feelings due to my own privilege, and accepting that fact without grudging it.
It means that I will listen to you when you need and want me to.
It means I will not tolerate, but accept and love you for all you are.
It means being faithful, and loyal, and trustworthy, and kind.
All the things being a friend means.
It makes perfect sense. It makes me think of how people sometime mistake “tolerance” for “acceptance” when talking about the same thing. You can tolerate just about anything- kids screaming on a bus, the guy in the seat behind you who keeps kicking your chair, that person in your suite/building who makes a lot of noise. That’s tolerance. That’s putting up with something because you feel you’re the better person. Tolerance is not acceptance.
Acceptance is seeing that someone is different from you (and maybe from the world at large), and finding in your heart to treat them the same way you treat everyone else you care about, because in your heart they aren’t. Acceptance is seeing a gay couple on the street and treating them just the same as a straight couple. Acceptance is honestly treating people how they deserve to be treated regardless of how they’re different from you because you want to, not just because you feel obligated to.
Bluh bluh. I’m more incoherent than ever. T:
I had a big, long rant prepared to post about how I feel about how things have been going lately, but I’m cutting it down to these cliff notes:
- The issue with DC and that misogyny has really opened my eyes to the many facets of how women are unappreciated and looked down upon in most creative industries, including as novelists.
- The massive amount of subtle and not-so-subtle misogyny and inequality in America in general makes me wonder how people can disregard women as a minority now.
- The rampant homophobia/other discrimination toward the LGBTQ community and racism, as well as mistreatment of disabled persons and other minorities, leaves me dumbfounded and ashamed to be an American. As does the continuing belief that being gay, etc, is a “choice” and a “lifestyle.”
- The fact that people still think it’s okay to use slurs of any kind also leaves me dumbfounded, especially when I hear the word “faggot” tossed around so casually by the kids I’m dealing with at this soccer camp.
- It’s probably going to take several generations for the current body image issues to lessen, and that’s being incredibly optimistic. Because there are still girls growing up and being bombarded with the message that “if you’re not thin, tan, and beautiful, no one will like you,” and they’re going to pass it onto their children. No number of plus-sized models is going to cancel out the fact that not fitting into the current ideal (whether you’re over or under weight) is not acceptable.
- The fact that my friends and I are always looked down upon for being overweight, regardless of how healthy, friendly, talented, and intelligent we may be is an illustration of that. I hate the fact that, because of that kind of indoctrination, I can’t look at myself in the mirror and not hate what I see- despite the fact that two guys have called me beautiful and dated me for being ME, or that other friends have pointed out all my good traits, I’ll still never be able to look into the mirror and see anything aside from my double chin and large thighs. I’m pretty sure it’s the same for many other people out there, and for a culture to do that- to rob people of their self-esteem just because they don’t fit the ideal of attractiveness- should be a crime.
- Legalizing gay marriage in New York is wonderful and amazing, but doesn’t make up for those kids who committed suicide last year. Or the ones killing themselves as you’re reading this. Or the ones whose lives will be ruined or destroyed because they can’t be accepted by others.
- The same goes for every other minority. Having a black president hasn’t helped racism. Having women gain more positions in power doesn’t change the fact that, overall, we are still viewed as inferior. Despite the fact that I have a female boss, my coworker and I are still brushed aside by our male counterparts not because our level of work is lesser, but because they don’t see anything wrong with assuming that it is.
- No matter how many female fans comics have, no matter how much support female writers and artists get from fans of all sexes, no matter how hard we may wish for it, female superheroes will always be objectified and women will always be disregarded for positions in comic companies.
And until this country changes, ladies and gentlemen, that is just the way things are going to be. At least in my eyes. You may go back to your regularly scheduled program now.