“I don’t wanna tell you this but dad’s going to die in 10 years time. You’d better be prepared.”
“READ BATMAN COMICS, DUMMY.” 8T
“Stay awesome, you little punk. Also get ready to make comics about gay sharks, no I’m serious that’s going to be your claim to fame someday, stop laughing you fucker omg”
and then i would teach my little self to fist bump
“It’s okay, you know- you’re not a freak. You weren’t “built wrong” or anything else you’ve been telling yourself. You’re asexual and aromantic, and that’s okay. Don’t worry about the fact that you can appreciate female beauty as well as male- that doesn’t mean you’re a lesbian, so just chill the fuck out. (And also, there would be nothing wrong with you if you WERE. That slight homophobia you had before meeting weeplittlelionman needs to stop.) Also, your bad social skills are in part due to your father’s alcoholism and your lack of social interactions due to where you live, so stop worrying about that too. Maybe you’ll never get along with others normally, but don’t feel too bad. Just don’t be aggressively rude, okay?
And as for Dad, push him. Push him to quit, and support him when he tries (and fails, and tries again). Let him KNOW what it’s doing to you. Talk to him. Talk to your whole family, and your friends. If you don’t let people know what you’re going through, nothing will ever change. But most of all, accept that you deserve to exist. And think about the future more. You’re not going to just kill yourself after high school. You need to THINK about these things. Life is still going to happen whether you want it to or not.
That said, don’t go out of your way to alienate people, and support your brother goddammit. He may be cruel sometimes, but he needs help just as much as you do. Focus on your schoolwork, and write and draw as much as possible; also, don’t be ashamed of your love for animation. Become friends with people called Laitma and FastPuck online as soon as possible, because they’re amazing and will help you grow in ways you never imagined. Stop pushing Kit and weeplittlelionman (when you meet her in high school) away, because they’re going to be your most precious friends and you need them in your life. Try to accept your brother’s wife (Yes, he’s going to get married while you’re in high school, and there’s nothing you can do about it), because there’s nothing you can do about it- he’s happy, even if he’ll never go to college, so chill the fuck out. She’s got a lot wrong with her, but she’s an adequate mother and makes him happy, so there you go.
Cry all you need to about the people who have died or will die in your life, and that’s okay. In time, even though it’ll still hurt, it will be okay. You’ll never forget them. Crying doesn’t mean you’re weak, it’s just a means of releasing stuff. And you need that, believe me.
And most of all: It gets better. It really, really does. Even with all the financial stuff and having to move and everything with your brother, I promise that everything will be fine.”