the right to your body is undeniable and irrevocable. those who think otherwise are oppressors and they will not be tolerated.
- you cannot be sexist toward men simply because males are the dominant gender
- you cannot be racist toward white people simply because white people are the dominant race
- you cannot be heterophobic simply because heteronormativity is the dominant culture
- i’m not saying you cannot be prejudice/discriminant of these groups of people but simply that sexism, racism, homophobia, ect are oppressive systems; you can’t be oppressive toward the oppressor
Meanwhile in the Northeastern United States.
Last Halloween: Massive Snowstorm.
This Halloween: Intense Hurricane.
Next Halloween: Godzilla returns.
You will fall in love with your friends. Deep, passionate love. You will create a second family with them, a kind of tribe that makes you feel less vulnerable. Sometimes our families can’t love us all the time. Sometimes we’re born into families who don’t know how to love us properly. They do as much as they can but the rest is up to our friends. They can love you all the time, without judgement. At least the good ones can.
You want to say Hi to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off.
If you speak, and she responds in a monosyllabic way without looking at you, she’s saying, “I don’t want to be rude, but please leave me alone.” You don’t know why. It could be “Please leave me alone because I am trying to memorize Beowulf.” It could be “Please leave me alone because you are a scary, scary man with breath like a water buffalo.” It could be “Please leave me alone because I am planning my assassination of a major geopolitical figure and I will have to kill you if you are able to recognize me and blow my cover.”
On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light. You can continue the conversation until you start getting signals to back off.
The fourth point: If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem.
There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail?
Yeah. He does. About every two weeks.
This man scores higher on the threat level scale than Man with the Cockroach Tattoos. (Who, after all, is guilty of nothing more than terrifying bad taste.) You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.
So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.
For women, who are watching you very closely to determine how much of a threat you are, this is an important piece of data.
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an excerpt from Phaedra Starling’s “Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced” (via lostgrrrls) HOLY FUCK THE TRUTH. Can every one of my male followers read this? And please, before you get defensive (“I would never rape anyone!”) keep in mind, women being afraid of Shrodinger’s Rapists (oh my god i still can’t get over the encompassing brilliance of this phrase) is a conditioned, learned response from being immersed in rape culture and the evolution of sexism and sexual violence in our society from the day we’re born. And unfortunately, it’s very difficult to unlearn without the efforts of all genders to dismantle it. Which is where you come in. (via lil-ith) Printing this out on flyers and dropping it from the sky (via therapsida) |
This is the article we’ve been waiting to be written. Important comments, important pictures, just…important.
Please spread this.
Everybody needs to read this.
46. Math and my brain don’t get along. It seriously makes me feel like crying when I can’t solve problems, because there are only one or two ways to do things and no way around those set procedures. It drives me batty.
45. Whenever eating a burger or any kind of sandwich, I will always always eat around the edges first.
44. I tend to not eat as much on weekends, as I’m usually visiting someone or just don’t have the willpower to leave my room.
43. Every year, I try to go as long as possible without wearing my jacket or long pants for the first time in the fall. I can usually get to mid November or early December before giving out.
42. My favorite color seems to be hovering between red and blue- I used to love red, but now I’m liking blue a bit more. (Which is funny because my mom’s favorite color is purple).
